


Why Tongue Depressers Are Evil

by Kezi0629



Series: Bat-Family Matters [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, At Least I Think I'm Funny, Bruce doesn't like to parent, Comedy, Crack, Damian is smol, Damian loves Dick, Dick likes to carry Damian becuase he can, Fluff, Gen, Medical Procedures, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14290404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kezi0629/pseuds/Kezi0629
Summary: damian goes to the doctor





	Why Tongue Depressers Are Evil

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation as to why I decided this should follow up my other fic it; just happened. Dick and Damian have a strange relationship. Just go with it.

“You awake?” Dick groaned out, sleep still evident in his voice. 

The boy stilled and remained silent. 

“Damian, I know you're awake; I could feel you moving around and your breathing is too irregular to be asleep,” Dick coaxed him. 

“Fine,” Damian gave in. “I’m awake.” 

“You’re definitely going to the doctor,” Dick stated. 

Damian growled. 

“You’re not a dog!” Dick said with a warning tone. 

“I hate the doctor; that fat old bastard!” Damian whined. 

“I know, but I’m hoping he’ll give you a prescription for sleeping pills,” Dick explained. “I know you don’t feel like you need more sleep, but you do, especially at your age.” 

“I’m not some kid who needs a bedtime,” Damian argued. 

“Yes, you are, and you need to get into a sleep cycle which means going to bed at the same time each night.” Dick argued back. 

Damian flipped to face the other direction in a huff. 

“Fine, be that way, but you still have to go,” Dick taunted. 

*********************************

In the morning, Dick and Damian got themselves dressed and ready to take on the day. 

“Hey, B, what time did you make the appointment?” Dick asked, walking into the kitchen with Damian trailing behind him. 

“9:30,” Bruce responded, sipping the coffee he made in his keurig. It was a present from Dick, so he could make himself coffee without waking someone more kitchen friendly. 

“Perfect! What do you want to eat, Dami?” Dick opened the fridge to see what was in there. 

“I’m not hungry.” Damian snarled. 

“Well I’m going to make eggs; you can eat some if you change your mind,” Dick offered. 

Once the food was in front of him, Damian decided to partake to quell his hunger despite his foul mood. 

By the time breakfast was eaten and cleaned up. It was about time for their departure to the doctor’s office. 

“Message me when the appointment is through.” Bruce requested. 

“You’re not coming?” Dick asked. 

“Why would I go when you can go and give me the highlights?” Bruce responded. 

“Because you’re his father,” Dick answered back. 

“You’re his legal guardian,” Bruce said coolly. 

“That’s why we should both go,” Dick argued. 

“Like I said before, there is no point for both of us to go, and since I’m sure you will go weather I do or not, there is no point for me to go.” Bruce rebutted Dick’s argument. 

“Fine!” Dick surrendered. 

“If father doesn’t have to go, then I don’t see why I have to go.” Damian crossed his arms in protest. 

“The appointment is for you, and you’re going!” Dick was running low on patience. 

Damian rolled his eyes at Dick, but followed him nonetheless.

They got into the car: Damian taking the passenger's seat and Dick in the driver’s seat. Dick quietly reminded Damian to buckle up as the engine started up. Dick turned the knob of the stereo down low, so the 90’s hits station was only in the background. 

Damian fidgeted with his fingers nervously, drawing his gaze out the side window. 

“Look, Dames, I know you aren’t thrilled with going to see Dr. Richards again, but it important that you have healthy habits,” Dick explained. “And it’s understandable that you would feel that way: having been poked and prodded and stuck with needles while never having that experience before. Lots of kids fear the doctor even after having experienced it their whole lives.” 

“I’m not afraid of the doctor! He poses no threat,” Damian shouted. 

“Your logical side may understand that, but I know there is a part of you that dislikes being at the mercy of someone else, and that is exactly what a doctor forces you to be. You have to trust that a complete stranger will look out for your health and wellbeing.” Dick parks his car in the lot outside of a brick office building. 

Damian opened his mouth to refute Dick’s claims, but was silenced by a hand on his cheek. 

“I know you’re about to tell me that’s not true, but it is. I want you to know that I’m going to be right there, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you; you don’t have to trust him—just me.” Dick smiles and rubbed his thumb against Damian’s cheek. 

“I trust you, Grayson,” Damian declared. 

“Good, now, come on.” Dick pulled the key out of the ignition and opened his door. 

When they got inside, Damian’s nostrils were bombarded with the strong scent of stale air and sanitation solution. Dick took his hand and lead him to the check in desk. 

“Patient’s name?” The woman behind the desk asked monotonously. 

“Damian Wayne,” Dick stated. 

“Fill these out and bring them to me.” The women handed over a clipboard and pen.

“Ok.” Dick accepted the items and lead his brother over to the waiting room seats. He flew through the papers, having memorized every data point having to do with Damian, and handed them back to the woman. 

“The doctor will be with you in a moment,” the woman recited. 

“Thanks.” Dick retook his seat.

“Hello, Damian. How are you?” The doctor asked. 

“Obviously, not too great if I’m here,” Damian snarled. 

“Sorry, he’s a bit cranky,” Dick apologized, squeezing Damian’s knee to signal him to shut up. 

“Well, let’s see what we can do about that,” the doctor cooed while Damian growled. “Let’s head back to my office to check you up, little guy.” 

“Sounds good,” Dick chirped, putting his arm around Damian to keep him from lunging at the doctor. 

They walked Down the hall and made their way to the small examining room. Dick pushed the wary Damian up to the examination table and lifted him onto it. He, himself, leans on the table with his arm around his younger brother. 

“Your father mentioned you were having trouble sleeping; how many hours do you get on average?” The doctor asked. 

“About 4 hours collectively,” Dick said matter-of-factly. 

“Collectively?” Dr. Richards questioned. 

“He wakes up throughout the night,” Dick explained. 

“Do you wake up for any particular reason: use the bathroom, drink water?” The doctor inquired. 

“Neither of those are the reason I wake, but I would be lying if I said I don’t occasionally partake in those activities during the night,” Damian spoke candidly. 

“Ok, do you have any persistent dreams or nightmares?” Doctor Richards asked another question. 

“Not normally,” Damian responded. 

“Do spend a lot of time in front of a screen before bed?” The doctor continued his list. 

“I’m not aloud to after dinner unless given explicit permission,” Damian answered. 

“Alright, last question. Do you consume a lot of soda or coffee?” Dr. Richards finished off his interrogation. 

“Coffee, no; soda, occasionally,” Damian recalled. 

“Ok, let's get you checked out then,” Dr. Richards chirped.

Damian stiffened as the doctor moved closer. Dick rubbed the boy’s shoulders hoping to relieve the tension. 

The doctor told Damian to open his mouth. 

As Damian was following orders, the doctor stuck a tongue depressor into his mouth. 

"What the hell!" Damian shouted as he tried to choke back a gag. 

"He was pushing your tongue down to see your throat." Dick rubbed Damian's back as he panted and gagged. 

"Who would allow such a thing?" Damian was totally appalled by the practice. 

"let's just move on," Dick encouraged the doctor to move through the procedures quickly.

The doctor picked up one of his devices and stuck it in Damian’s face. Damian leaned away from the device but was caught by Dick and pushed back. “He’s just going to look inside your ear, Dames.” 

“But my ear is fine!” Damian argued, covering his ear. 

“Just wanna be sure; it’s not going to hurt,” the doctor assured Damian. 

Damian turned to Dick for confirmation. 

Dick took his brother’s hand and squeezed it with a nod. He removed his other hand from his ear and moved his head so the doctor could take a look.

“Well, you’re all good there.” The doctor put down his tool and picked up another. This time, it was a ballpoint pen and a small silver device. “Ok, I want you to follow this pen with your eyes.”

Damian nodded and fixed his gaze on the pen. The doctor began moving it back and forth before using the small device to shine light into Damian’s eyes. Startled by this, Damian batted the flashlight away and covered his eyes. 

“What the hell!” Dames shouted. 

“It’s ok; he was just getting a better look at your eyes.” Dick tried to calm Damian by rubbing the young boy’s shoulder. 

“Yes, now I need to see the other side.” The doctor held up the advice in askance. 

Damian nodded and focused in on the pen once more. 

“Good job.” Dr. Richards praised his patient

“It was hardly a good job; I was quite uncooperative.” Damian stared at him confused. 

“I’ve had worse patients,” the doctor assured. “Now, it’s time to take your blood pressure.”

The doctor lifted Damian’s arm and rapped the strap around it. “You’re gonna feel a bit of a squeeze.” Damian was warned before the little bulb was pressed, resulting in increasingly uncomfortable pressure. “Looks a little high.”

“He has high blood pressure?” Dick asked. 

“Yes, What does his diet look like?” Dr. Richards inquired. 

“Mostly grains like oatmeal and cereal, but he does eat a pretty balanced dinner each night,” Dick recalled. “He ate some scrambled eggs this morning, only because he was too stubborn to tell me what he really wanted.” 

“I would like to see some more protein, fruits, and vegetables, but that’s of no consequence to his sleep problem. His blood pressure is most likely caused by stress, and I would assume the trouble sleeping stems from that as well.” The doctor came up with his conclusion while filling in some charts. 

“How would you suggest we treat it?” Dick held Damian close in a protective manner as he asked the question.

“I can prescribe him some medication for the high blood pressure, but you should take him to a psychiatrist to try and solve his anxiety.” The doctor gave his treatment plan. “If the lack of sleep persists after the anxiety treatment, come back to see me.” 

“‘Kay, thanks, doc.” Dick hopped off the examination table and pulled Damian into his arms, forcing the boy to sit on his hip. He took the prescription from Dr. Richards’ hand and headed to the front door. 

Once they were outside, Damian began to squirm. “Put me down, now!” 

“Relax, Dames. We both know if you really wanted down, you would be there already,” Dick argued. 

Damian blushed, but kept his position being held by his brother. He really did enjoy being held; it made him feel loved and safe, a feeling he only really felt around Dick. Not that he didn’t believe others loved and protected him, they just didn’t have the knack for showing it. He subconsciously leaned in a little closer to feel more of Dick’s warmth. 

Dick reached the car and opened the passenger side door to to put Damian in. Once Damian was in he got in the driver’s side and started the car up. 

“Where to—now?” Damian asked through a yawn. 

“Tired?” Dick giggled. “I’ve gotta go to the pharmacy to get your prescription ordered.” 

Damian began to nod off against the window as they pulled into the parking lot. Dick nudged him back into reality. 

Damian groaned. “This better not take too long.”

“I don’t wanna be here too long either; I hate dealing with pharmacists.” Dick shook his head and rolled his eyes. 

The two brothers made their way to the prescription counter in the back of the pharmacy, Damian leaning against Dick for support. 

“Hi, miss, I’m here to get this prescription filled.” Dick handed her the slip of paper. 

The pharmacist took the slip. “Recipient's name?” 

“Damian Thomas Wayne—or Damian Anthony Wayne; one is his legal name and the other I think is what his father put on the insurance,” Dick rambled nervously. 

“Insurance, please,” The pharmacist clarified. 

“Anthony,” Dick responded. 

“Can I get the insurance information?” The pharmacist asked. 

“Of course,” Dick chirped, handing the paperwork over. 

“Alright then, it will be ready in a half an hour to forty-five minutes,” The pharmacist informed them and gestured for them to take a seat on the waiting chairs. 

“Thanks.” Dick corralled Damian to sit down. 

 

Dick: Hey, Damian got a prescription for high blood pressure.  
B: how did he get high blood pressure?  
Dick: stress. Doc says it also probably the cause for his insomnia.  
B: how r we going to treat that?  
Dick: he recommends Damian see a psychiatrist. I want to get him some sleep aides from the drugstore till we can figure it all out.  
B: Kay, I’ll do some research.  
Dick: don’t rush too much; it’s gonna take a bit of convincing to get him to go see a psychiatrist.  
B: how was the visit today?  
Dick: it went better than expected, but still, not exactly the smoothest. In the words of Damian himself: “it was hardly a good job; I was quite uncooperative.”  
B: oh god.  
Dick: it was hilarious. He’s cute when he’s confused. After that was just his blood pressure which he didn’t have much of an issue with, probably because it was the only thing that wasn’t all up in his face.  
B: well, it’s good he wasn’t too difficult.  
Dick: he wasn’t difficult at all, just nervous.  
B: I’m sure you were much more of a comfort than I would have been.  
Dick: yeah, there probably would have been some screaming, maybe even some light maiming. 

“Wayne, your prescription is ready!” The pharmacist called. 

Dick nudged Damian out of his little nap and made his way to the counter to grab the bag. “Thanks.” 

“Ok, now I want to find you some Benadryl or melatonin to help you sleep till we can get you to the psychiatrist.” Dick paroosed the isles, looking for what he wanted. 

“Make it fast; I’m hungry,” Damian complained. 

“Just a sec,” Dick assured him, grabbing the bottles he was after. “We can check out now.” 

They exited the store and hoped into the car. “Want to have Alfred make you something or go out for food?” Dick asked. 

“Out,” He said without much thinking. 

“Alright, Italian?” Dick asked. 

“That’s fine,” Damian said with apathy. 

“Don’t act so excited,” Dick said sarcastically. 

“I don’t do excitement,” Damian stated with clarity and purpose. 

“I know, Dami.” Dick laughed. “Everyone knows.”

**Author's Note:**

> Next he gets mental help!


End file.
